The Young Ones November Newsletter.
News from our last meeting.
We had one new member at our last meeting and Hope has come back from her extended visit with Grace and is now spending time at Catherine’s home.
A few of us took advantage of the subsidised tickets available for the Otis Foundation Ball last month and had a great time in Bendigo bopping away and enjoying the fabulous food and wine from the local area. The purpose of the Ball was to launch the new free retreat that Otis has opened at Thredbo which will be run in a similar way to their units in Bendigo. The new accommodation looks fabulous and I will be booking in as soon as I can organise some time away from the kids, which is a bit cheeky considering that I have just come back from a relaxing week away from them in Queensland.
One of our original members Sue has just become a Nana to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Congratulations to Sue and her daughter Mel. Sue is a very proud Nana (even if she doesn’t look old enough to be one) and I’m sure her granddaughter already has everything she’ll need to get her through until college.
I have applied for the yearly Human Services Grant for our group and we will let you know if we are successful in the New Year. Our finances are the best they have ever been but it’s always good to have a bit extra put away just in case.
Most of you have sent back your data base update questionnaires but there are still some of you who haven’t. If you can’t find the form I sent you by e-mail or post please contact me and I will resend it to you. You do need to return the form to us confirming your contact details even if you don’t answer the questions other wise your name will be deleted from our new data base as we will presume that you no longer want to be a member.
October was a very busy month because it is Breast Cancer Awareness month and it seemed that every time I turned on the TV, radio, and computer or picked up a magazine there was an item about breast cancer on show. This is great for raising community awareness but for our families and those who have experienced breast cancer it can be a bit overwhelming. If you did find it all very confronting, you certainly weren’t alone in the way you felt.
What’s happening?
Friday 9th December, 7pm, PJ O’Brien’s Pub Southgate. The Young ones Xmas party dinner and you can stay for the band which comes on later if you like. We need to advise them of numbers and leave a deposit by November so could you please RSVP to Rita on 041 123 5964 ASAP.
Wednesday 16th November, 7.30pm, Baton Rouge Quality Inn, 1233 Stud Rd Rowville. The Valley Private Hospital Xmas Party. Cost; Free Hot finger food and wine provided.
Wednesday 16th November, 7-8.30pm BreaCan Drop-in Centre, Level 1, 123 Lonsdale St. Melbourne. Caring for the carer. Annabel Pollard a psychologist and Co-ordinator of Patient Support Programs at Peter MacCullum Cancer Centre will facilitate a discussion for partners, parents, siblings and friends of women living with advanced breast cancer. Food & drink will be provided afterwards. Cost; Free. RSVP on 9664 9333
Wednesday 23rd November, 12-1pm, BreaCan, Lymphoedema: What it is, Treatment and What’s Available. Judy Purbrick, Senior Physiotherapist at Mercy hospital Lymphoedema Clinic will talk about lymphoedema and its association with breast cancer. Cost; Free. For info 9664 9333
There will be no more Saturday Arvo group meetings as explained in this newsletter under the heading “Time to move on”.
Changes in the making……young women’s journeys through breast cancer.
About a year ago Mary Macheras-Magias asked me if I would be interested in writing a play with her about the issues that young women encounter after a diagnosis of breast cancer. We commenced writing the play immediately and met regularly over the next six months to develop Changes in the Making. I found this process to be an immensely satisfying experience.
It seemed like in a blink of an eye that we were with a cast of 6 other young survivors and our 1 male actor about to do our first performance at the Grant Street Theatre. Mary & I had been at the theatre from 8am assisting with our set arrival, lighting, sound set up and the many other items required for a performance that evening.
Our Friday evening performance was a sell out, and there were quite a few nervous performers backstage, re-reading scripts, checking props and generally preparing themselves to go out in front of family and work colleagues and put their emotions on the line.
The performance went well; some great laughs were heard in the humorous scenes, and tears in some of our more emotional scenes. I’d love to mention my favourite scenes but there may be some calls of bias! You will need to ask some members of “The Young Ones” who attended for their favourites. There were some technical hitches which were ironed out by our Saturday matinee show, one being when I stumbled off the rostrum which was set up at the back of the stage, made a great recovery and went on with the show! Anything to get all of the attention, hey!
Attendances on Saturday matinee were ¾ full and Saturday night was a full house. We had some fantastic feedback from audience members, such as “I had never thought about these issues that affect young women with breast cancer, the play has given me a lot to think about” and “I couldn’t get over the fact that all of these young women on stage have had breast cancer, you don’t realise that it does affect so many young women”. Our original aim of increasing awareness of young women’s issues with breast cancer has definitely been met!
Mary & I are currently in the process of editing the video and should have DVD’s available by mid December (they will be available to be borrowed from The Young Ones & Breacan).
So where to now? Mary & I are currently speaking with some rural breast cancer groups with the aim of touring “Changes in the Making” to regional areas. If you are involved with a rural group and would like to bring the play to your area, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with Mary or myself through The Young Ones.
I would like to thank our theatre volunteers, many of whom are Young Ones members and responded to our call. Also, thank you to our audience members who followed our emotional journey with us. Hopefully we will see you at another performance next year!
Kerri Guy.
Our next meeting. Our next meeting will be on Thursday November 25th at 7pm Cafe Coco, 129 Smith St Collingwood. This will be our last meeting for 2005.
Contact details.Rita Marigliani: 041 123 5964 Postal Address: 48 Andrew St. Windsor 3181
E mail: ritamarigliani@netspace.net.au Website: www.theyoungones.asn.au
Time to move on.
It is with mixed emotions that I tell you that this will be my last newsletter.
When The Young ones was formed in 1999 we discussed how important it was that the group be specifically for young Victorian women under 45 who had experienced breast cancer. The reason behind this was that there were already quite a few support groups around and they all catered to the needs of the majority of women diagnosed with this disease who are over 50. We felt that if we didn’t have a cut off age, then one day hopefully, we would all be attending meetings in our fifties and the newly diagnosed younger women would still be looking for a support group that would address their specific needs.
I am proud to say, that after being misdiagnosed twice, having had breast cancer in both breasts with a spread to the lymph nodes both times, 2 mastectomies, 3 breast reconstructions, both ovaries removed, finding out I have the BRCA1 breast cancer gene mutation, 20 doses of chemotherapy, 36 doses of radiotherapy, having my thyroid gland stop working and chemically induced menopause in my 30’s, that I turn 45 next month. Some women may find it depressing to turn 45, but I’m just happy to make it!
On a more serious note, I have often wondered in the past if I would actually be able to hand over something that has been such a HUGE part of my life for so long to someone else to oversee. It hasn’t been an easy decision for me to make and at times I have been tempted to stay on in the background like an over protective mother organising everything from the sidelines. But the last few months I have been struggling to deal with the emotional side that comes with the work involved with running a support group.
Because I am so passionate about what I do, when one of you becomes sick or someone passes away I do worry and grieve for you. Unfortunately I have been doing it for so long, that lately I have started to feel overwhelmed by my commitment to the group and wonder what my life would be like without it.
For the last 6 years my family have patiently waited for me to get off the phone because the person on the other end isn’t coping well at present and needs my help. Understood that I couldn’t do something they wanted me to because I had to get the monthly newsletter finished. Organised the daily chores at home while I attended meetings. Sat patiently at functions while I spoke to people about breast cancer issues that needed to be addressed and supported me while I worried and grieved about members of the group.
I still wouldn’t change one minute of the time that I have given to The Young Ones as I feel that I have achieved so much more than I originally set out to do and it has been a very rewarding experience for me. During the last 6 years, I have made many wonderful friends, met interesting people, attended prestigious events, spoke in front of attentive audiences, carried the Olympic Torch and most importantly helped many of you cope with having breast cancer.
The group was started so that newly diagnosed young women wouldn’t have to go through the ordeal of having breast cancer, without support being available from some one who knew first hand what they were going through, like I had to. I can proudly say that I have achieved this goal and even experienced this support when I was diagnosed with breast cancer the second time.
There have been many times when your phone calls, cards and e mails of thanks have spurred me on when I thought that I was just too exhausted to keep going and of course I have had some much needed help along the way. I would especially like to thank Lyn Swinburne (CEO of Breast Cancer Network Australia) and Rita Marigiliana (assistant co-ordinator The Young Ones). Lyn wrote a personal cheque to help cover our running costs not long after the group started, because I was a single mother trying to pay for postage, phone calls, etc and couldn’t afford to keep doing it until we received our first government grant and Rita has supported me emotionally, as well as helping with the running of the group as our numbers grew, for the last couple of years. The Young Ones would have ceased to exist as it does today if not for both of these fantastic women.
I also need to thank my family, especially my husband James for allowing me to give so much of my leisure time to the group, Avis McPhee for offering me good advice, the many members who have helped with different projects over the years, the medical professionals who took the time to let me know that I was making a difference and of course Judy Sheperdson, my soul sister who has listened to me cry, whinge, boast and procrastinate without judging me.
Rita will take over as Co-ordinator of The Young Ones by the start of 2006 and I can’t think of any one else that I would rather see steer the group through the coming years than her. I hope you give her the same encouragement and support that I have had. Please take note of the new contact details listed on this newsletter.
Unfortunately I won’t be able to make it to our Xmas Party this year but I will be at our first meeting for 2006 on Thursday February 23rd, 7pm at Café Coco and I would love to see as many of you as possible there to say “Goodbye” to. I would also like to ask you for a personal favour. I want to put together a keepsake of my years with The Young Ones that would include photos and messages of what the group has meant to it’s members. I would love you send me a message either by e mail or post that I could save and look back on, to remind me of the good that came from the group being formed.
And now with tears in my eye’s, after years of sitting here at the computer corresponding with you all as if you were old friends and worrying about you as if you are. My last words to you are THANK YOU. Thank you for helping me to heal by allowing me to share your experience with breast experience and I wish you all the best for the future.
Cheers Tanya Wilson
